


Call me when you're sober! #wink

by FujiDawn



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Crack-ish, Fluff and Humor, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, The Banquet of Sochi and its Aftermath, not all fluffy, what the hell should I tag this, yuuri in denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 06:50:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11225586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FujiDawn/pseuds/FujiDawn
Summary: After Sochi, Yuuri starts getting strange texts from someone unknown who poses as Victor Nikiforov. Knowing that THIS is definitely in no Realm of any possibilities, what will he do when the messages just keep coming?OrYuuri and Victor exchange numbers, Yuuri forgets, and Victor is highly annoyed that he's being ignored.





	Call me when you're sober! #wink

Sochi had been a fiasco.

Yuuri had never felt so devastated before. Frustrated, disappointed.

Incapable.

Unworthy.

The sudden hope as he heard his name, just to feel the crushing sadness at realizing that Victor probably didn‘t even recognize him as a competitor.

He couldn‘t bear standing beside this man – this legend, his inspiration, his _goal_ – and so, he didn‘t answer after he was asked for a photo.

Yuuri wanted to be his equal, but…

...he felt like this dream had been shattered into a million pieces.

Victor deserved better. Yuuri did not even talk to him, because there would be nothing more than a _Fan_ talking, not someone who could be recognized as a true competitioner.

The banquet came, and went. He remembered… not much.

 

His head felt like someone cleared it for underground works, complete with jackhammer, bulldozer and too much noise, as he woke up.

„Urgh...“

Groaning, Yuuri held his head as he attempted to leave the bed, his phone ringing merrily to wake him up.

Oh gods, why hadn‘t Celestion cut off his support of alcohol? Yuuri wasn‘t known for his ability to hold his liquor, and it was probably only because Phichit wasn‘t in Sochi as well that there was nothing about the evening on any of the social media. Instagram and Twitter both were surpringsingly void of any picture at all.

Much too early for this kind of hangover, Yuuri dragged himself into the bathroom to wash up and pack his things – the flight back to Detroit would not wait for him of all people.

While brushing his teeth, his phone went off. Yuuri raised a brow – who‘d text him? Phichit was still asleep, and his family had talked to him the day before.

Deciding that whomever wanted something from him right now could wait a few seconds more, the Japanese cleared the bathroom of his toiletries, and went to change his clothes, before zipping up his suitcase.

His head still pounded with every beat of his heart, and sighing, Yuuri opened his messenger, only to crinkle up his forehead.

 

**Victor <3 (7:14am)**

      good morning! :D hope your hangover isn‘t as bad as I think it is. #champagne

**Victor <3 (7:15am)**

      although I‘m russian, I know nothing about hangovers. >v<

 

Blinking, unbelievingly and much too tired, as well as hurting, all equally distributed, Yuuri closed the messenger.

As far as pranks go – this one was mean, if well executed. There even was a picture of the Russian, although an official one, what gave away the fact that this could only be a joke to someone.

He briefly wondered who had given away his number, or, better yet, had _stolen_ his phone to put in their number to execute this. As drunk as he had been the evening before though, judging from the splitting headache, he probably had given his number freely to anybody who had asked.

Yuuri decided to ignore the texts and wait it out.

Blocking the number would be better, but…

Yuuri was ashamed, and he felt pathetic, but even if he _knew_ it couldn‘t possibly be the real Victor, even if he could imagine it _could_ be…

He couldn‘t delete it. Couldn‘t block it.

_Pretending_.

God, he was hopeless.

Once, he thought he was in love with Yuuko. Back when he was a kid, and she was the Madonna. Then, there had been a nice girl in his class.

But _nothing_ compared to the feelings Yuuri felt in his very core after he watched Victor Nikiforov skate the first time. And every routine he watched after just deepened and intensified the emotions, until Yuuri knew nothing _but_ Victor, and his skating.

 

**Victor <3 (7:43am)**

     are you still asleep?

 

Heart throbbing treacherously and painfully hard, Yuuri pocketed his phone, and left the room to meet up with his Coach.

 

 

Until Yuuri boarded his flight back to the States, there had been six more messages – ranging between ‚Have a save flight!‘; ‚See you at Worlds‘; and a simple, yet impossibly indignant ‚Yuuuuuuuri! Dx‘.

The texts were so horribly un-Victor that Yuuri almost pedaled back and did block the foreign number. Well, as un-Victor-ish as he could judge from the thousand and one interview he had (binge-)watched since he was 12, culminating at somewhere around _a fucking lot_ . But he was reasonably sure _this_ wasn‘t like him.

 

 

**Victor <3 (9:19am) **

      ...are you ignoring me?

 

Yuuri sighed, prompting Celestino to raise a brow at him.

„Still upset?“, he asked – they _had_ talked about his 6th place, in abundance, and, consequently, of his anxiety.

Not in the mood to answer, the Japanese just smiled crookedly, what apparently was enough of an answer for his coach.

 

**Victor <3 (9:21am) **

     just so you know, I‘m sulking now. ಠ╭╮ಠ

 

At this, Yuuri coulnd‘t stay perfectly earnest, nor as heartbroken as he‘d been the last days. A shy, timid smile etched up on his lips, and even if this someone, whomever it was, wanted to prank him, wanted to hurt him – whatever the reasons – if he could just pretend, he‘d do anything.

(And, honestly, imagining Victor Nikiforov with a pout was making his stomach flip in ways even his hangover hadn‘t been able to.)

 

 

°°°°°

 

**Victor <3 (11:37pm)**

     Yuuri

 

**Victor <3 (11:39pm)**

Yuuuuuuuuuri

 

**Victor <3 (11:41pm)**

wait it‘s like late in Detroit right now

 

**Victor <3 (11:41pm)**

     are you sleeeeeeeping?

 

Groaning, Yuuri fished for his phone, while Phichit turned around and pressed his pillow to his head.

„Who the hell, Katsuki...“, he mumbled.

„I told you, I don‘t know.“, Yuuri answered softly, muting his phone after reading the messages.

He should change the name. The heart was a bit much, he thought sleepily.

 

**Victor <3 (11:50pm)**

     Still not texting back, I see, although I have a lot of blue ticks telling me you read mine.

 

**Victor <3 (12:05am)**

     Don‘t think I‘ve won five times in a row because I‘m lucky

     It‘s hard work

     almost as much work as getting you to answer me

 

**Victor <3 (12:10am)**

     Yuuuuuuuuuuuuri ｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡

 

Snorting softly, Yuuri let go of his phone. The person behind this would stop if he would not answer. Sooner or later, the joke would grow old.

 

**Victor <3 (12:15am)**

     I‘ll get an answer out of you. I‘ll not give up.

 

 

°°°°°

 

To be honest, Yuuri‘s first reaction to the unexpected text messages was a panicky and terrified grin, complete with wide eyes and staccato heartbeat.

It came late (while he sat in his window-seat back to Detroit, as normalcy settled in), when he accepted the possibility – however slim the chance – that Victor Nikiforov actually got hold of his number.

Anxiety and reality crashed back just seconds later and therefore the calm he needed to ignore the texts.

In the course over the next days and weeks, when Yuuri decided to retire, returned home to his parents‘ onsen, decided to compete after that first idea, then decided to get back his joy on the ice, watever the outcome, his only constant were the texts, which came as frequent as at the beginning.

 

_Yuuri, help :c_

_Yuuri, I‘m stuck between two short programs, and don‘t know which to use_

_Yuuri, what‘s your favourite dish?_

_Yuuri! Answer me already._ _ಠ_ ___ _ಠ_

_...you really are something. I‘ve never been ignored this long._

 

The person behind the messages seemed so childish, so unlike the Victor Yuuri had seen in his many videos, but, in the same instance, so much more real. Media-Victor was probably a carefully crafted persona, without any leverage over him, and the one texting Yuuri was so lively, so loveable and endearing, and Yuuri caught himself more often than not wishing he was strong enough to answer.

 

**Victor <3 (3:26pm)**

     Have you ever been out of inspiration?

 

Huffing, Yuuri decided that yes, right now was the perfect time to send a text back. It had been almost two months already, and he‘d received messages daily, at least one.

Victor Nikiforov out of inspiration? No way.

 

**Yuuri (3:27pm)**

     Yes. Whoever you are, you‘re totally out of character. Sorry that whatever this was meant to do didn‘t happen.

 

**Victor <3 (3:27pm)**

     OMG YOU REPLIED

 

**Victor <3 (3:28pm)**

     I‘m having a heart attack right now.

     #happiestmanalive

 

Yuuri smiled despite himself, even if in the same instant, his own heart throbbed, painfully aware of all the times in his life since he was twelve, when he ached to hear these words from his Idol.

 

**Victor <3 (3:29pm)**

     wait what do you mean ‚whoever you are‘

     I‘m Victor

     You know, the Figure Skater

     Five times in a row champion?

     We were in the same bracket in December?

     Tall, grey hair, blue eyes??

     ಠ_ಠ

     (these textfaces are fun!)

 

Snorting, Yuuri reread the short messages, able to taste the indignation that wavered in thick undertones through them.

 

**Yuuri (3:31pm)**

     Don‘t try. I think I‘d remember if I had given him my number.

 

**Victor (3:31pm)**

     …

     apparently you don‘t

 

**Yuuri (3:32pm)**

Who would forget something like that?

 

Okay, wow, that was as much as a „I‘m a Fanboy!“ as it could get, and Yuuri prayed to all deities he knew that this would not blow up in his face, when Person X would publish these texts. After all, there had to be a ulterior motive to the length he/she was going.

 

**Victor <3 (3:33pm)**

     yeah well it _may_ be possible that this seems really strange when you don‘t remember

     okay

     I‘ll just go with the flow

     BUT

 

**Victor <3 (3:34pm)**

you can‘t deny you like me

     *Victor

 

Yuuri almost dropped his phone, blushing a deep red, feeling utterly caught, and his first reaction was to write back a clear „NO“ - but that would just confirm it, wouldn‘t it? So he thought a few minutes to come up with a generic answer that would not reveal _how much_ he actually liked the Russian – yes, it was idolized, yes, he knew it was hopeless, and yes, Yuuri definitely did know that the persona he fell in love with was probably another human being in real life.

But… media-Victor mingled with text-Victor would be a person Yuuri would love to know.

 

**Yuuri (3:39pm)**

     Victor is a nice, polite man. Good-looking, granted, and brilliant in what he does. There‘s not much not to like, is there?

 

**Victor <3 (3:40pm)**

     aaw, that was almost believable. If you had just replied a tad faster.

     Well, whatever you‘d texted, it would have been too fast or too well thought through

 

**Victor <3 (3:41pm)**

there‘s that really subtle thing you do before you jump that‘s virtually trademark nikiforov

     probably courtesy of practising my routines

     *his

     i‘m still playing along, see?

 

**Victor <3 (3:45pm)**

     ...he‘d be flattered, I think.

     Also you flub your jumps because of that, to an extent. It‘s to compensate for height and strength, both of which aren‘t your problem.

     Celestino should have seen that one

 

**Victor <3 (3:50pm)**

Yuuuuuuuuri

     don‘t _not_ answer me again Dx

 

Okay. So. This person really had watched _his_ routines. And spotted something even he hadn‘t really noticed. Yuuri was dumbfounded at the attention to detail Person X (yes, that was the new Name now – though ‚Victor  <3‘ would stay, if only for Yuuri‘s Fanboy-Heart) had given his skating, to make such a statement. A reporter then, perhaps? Or another skater?

Still, the question was why.

Sighing, the Japanese decided to text back. Somehow, he _still_ was endeared by the stranger, his playful undertones and somehow cute way of demanding his attention.

He could perhaps play along as well for a while.

 

**Yuuri (3:55pm)**

     I‘m probably not the only one, but it‘s because of Victor I decided to skate professionally.

     So, yes, me and a good friend would skate his routines whenever we could, because it was fun.

 

**Victor <3 (3:56pm)**

♥‿♥

     that‘s the sweetest thing i‘ve ever heard

     like really

     you‘re too cute for words

 

**Victor <3 (3:57pm)**

     so is he your inspiration? your motivation?

     what‘s your goal?

 

And, just like that, the calm and comforting atmosphere vanished in a puff of anxiety, self-doubt and depression.

The terrible skate of Sochi came back to his mind, and the subsequent crash of reality as well. And, because he had not once talked to anyone about this bit of information, it urged itself out of him, and before Yuuri knew it, he‘d confessed his feelings to his phone and had hit ‚send‘.

 

**Yuuri (4:00pm)**

Yes. Both. Motivation, Inspiration. Goal, too. But you‘ve probably seen the GPF in Sochi, and the terrible performance. All I ever wanted was to skate on the same ice as him. Nothing more. I did that. With this abysmal skate, how could I look      him in the eyes?

 

     I don‘t think I will ever compete against him another time. Not that I had ever a chance to score close. I‘m not good enough to actually compete against him.

 

As soon as his finger had tapped the button to send, Yuuri cursed himself and wanted to take it all back. How could he tell this to a complete stranger? Someone who pretended to be his Idol at that? It was like reputation suicide, to confess things like that.

On the other side, what was left of his reputation? He was one of many, and even if Marooka had wanted him to compete another season, Yuuri didn‘t know if he could face the pressure.

 

**Victor <3 (4:02pm)**

     Your step sequences are terrific, though

     I‘m evious of those, actually

     don‘t tell anyone i said that, yakov would have my head

 

**Victor <3 (4:04pm)**

     your skating was much more consistent in the competitions before

     what‘s the reason for the lack in concentration?

 

**Yuuri (4:05pm)**

my dog died a few weeks prior, and I couldn‘t make it home before the GPF

     I tend to binge eat when I‘m not feeling well

     and gain weight fast

 

     I couldn‘t get it out of my head. The added weight trew me off balance. I‘m not cut out for this kind of pressure

 

 

After that, Yuuri threw his phone under his pillow, and curled into himself in front of his bed, so he wouldn‘t hear the buzzing anymore.

To admit this so freely made him shake, and fear the mocking that was about to come. To be depressed because of a dog.

It was embarassing.

 

_Your step sequences are terrific_

 

It would be the highest praise coming from the actual Victor Nikiforov.

„Snap out of it, Katsuki.“, he mumbled. „It‘s okay to feel that way. You loved Vicchan.“

But he didn‘t feel that way. It was an empty try to make things okay in his head.

Biting his lips, he snatched his skates, and was off to the rink. Perhaps he could persuade Yuuko to let him skate this late.

And show her.

 

°°°°°

 

**Victor <3 (4:09pm)**

     I‘m sorry

 

 

°°°°°

 

Two days later hell broke loose with the video the triplets had made of his try on „Stammi Vicino“, and for the first time in these two days he opened his messenger again.

Minako had reacted, Phichit as well (after Yuuri had not liked his Instagram or Twitter posts, both of which exploded with comments), and the Victor-copycat had actually left close to thirty messages, all unrelated to the video.

At first.

 

**Victor <3 (9:13am)**

Don‘t give up. you‘re still skating atm, right? don‘t let your stamina decrease, it‘s your strongest feature, besides steps

 

     Yuri Plisetsky is actually trying to imitate them, you know

 

**Victor <3 (9:15am)**

Back to ignoring me, I see

     Shame

     i thought we had a connection ಠ╭╮ಠ

 

**Victor <3 (9:25am) **

     something has twitter in a twist

     Yuri‘s all salty

 

**Victor <3 (9:45am)**

Yuuri

 

**Victor <3 (9:47am)**

     Yuuri

 

**Victor <3 (9:48am)**

     Yuuri

 

**Victor <3 (9:50am)**

     Yuuri

 

**Victor <3 (9:51am)**

     ...you know, the thing about being good enough?

     You definitely are. I promise. Nobody could have skated ‚Stammi Vicino‘ like you did.

 

**Yuuri (9:59am)**

     you never saw Victor skate then

     also lots of people are disagreeing. Hence the „tried“ in the title

 

**Victor <3 (10:00am)**

     i have it on good authority that he‘s awful in practice

     constantly doing things he shouldn‘t do

     getting yelled at by yakov like all the time

 

**Victor <3 (10:01am)**

you‘d have broken the world record with that

     and a lot of hearts

 

**Yuuri (10:05am)**

yeah sure

 

**Victor <3 (10:06am)**

     you broke mine

     because that was what it should have looked like

_it was perfect_

 

 

Yuuri groaned and turned around on his bed once more, burrowing his head in the pillows.

 

**Yuuri (10:15am)**

     who the hell are you

     what is your game

     I don‘t understand what you gain from this

     at all

     this ‚I‘m Victor Nikiforov‘-farce is absolutely unbelievable

 

**Victor <3 (10:17am)**

     i figured as much

 

 

It wasn‘t as though Yuuri didn‘t _want_ to believe that he texted with his Idol. He _desperately_ wanted to, that being the only reason he had not blocked the contact as soon as it had started.

He hadn‘t even checked the number, out of fear that it would definitely show up an area code outside of Russia, therefore shattering the illusion itself.

But now…?

Yuuri had no intention of fooling himself. Victor _had_ seen the video, most likely, the hype being real and viral.

 

**Yuuri (10:23am)**

     post a picture of yourself on instagram

     while doing a headstand

     perhaps I‘ll believe you then

 

**Victor <3 (10:24am)**

     not fair, i can‘t do a headstand

     i‘ll get dizzy af

 

Snorting, Yuuri bit his lip. There was his proof. A headstand should really be no problem to someone with spins like Victor.

Dizzy. As if.

 

**Victor <3 (10:25am)**

i have a better idea

     i‘ll come visit you

     already packing tbh, makka is excited

 

**Yuuri (10:26am)**

     whatever

     be sure to bring your skates, so you can show me you‘re real

     (I wonder if you can skate at all)

 

**Victor <3 (10:28am)**

     Yuuri, you are SO in for a surprise.

     ...i need to call someone who knows where exactly you live.

 

 

After that, the messages ceased to come for a whole day. Yuuri was almost relieved. It had started to hurt, somehow. After all, his (very hopeless) crush had not lessened at all, after seeing Victor live, winning the GPF (...and all other main events that season). Yuuri had felt like that twelve year old boy again, awestruck and touched and rendered speechless by the beauty of it all, the fluid moves, the clear jumps, the _longing_ in those steps.

 

So when he opened his eyes to snow a day later, and his mother sent him to shovel snow, to come back and be run over by a poodle that _definitely_ wasn‘t Vicchan, and he was told of that ‚good looking foreigner‘, Yuuri‘s heart sank down into his knees.

_You have got to be kidding me._

Skidding into the onsen only to see the buck naked five-times-in-a-row-champion Victor Nikiforov live and in colour was just the logical consequence, somehow.

„Yuuri, starting today, I‘ll be your coach! I‘ll make you win the Grand Prix Final!“

Something definitely was not right.

Had he been kicked into a parallel dimension?

„Oh, and I lied about the headstand. But my face flushes like crazy when I do those and I can‘t post that on Instagram, I have a reputation to uphold!“

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I'm so deep in this fandom or why I can't NOT write something.  
> But, in lieu of the many fics in which neither Yuuri nor Victor START texting each other despite having the others number, I needed this.
> 
> Hope you had fun reading ;)
> 
> Any spellcheck errors found can be kept. I didn't have any spellcheck.


End file.
